TEN REASONS THAT YOUR UBER DRIVER CANCELS ON YOU

You need a ride, desperately.  Your car is in the shop, or for some other reason you do not have transportation.  Unfortunately, you didn’t plan well and you are running late to work, or the airport, or a meeting, and you need a reliable car service to pick you up and drive you there NOW.  So, you get your phone, open up your trusty Uber app, and order a car.  Yay!  You gotta love technology.

There is an UberX 12 minutes away.  You can work with that!  You order the car.  And then three minutes later, the driver cancels on you.  You note that the driver texted you asking your destination and confirm the ride and you ignored it because you already put the destination in the request and you are just TOO busy for such nonsense.  They should be able to figure it out.  It’s not your fault if the driver is too stupid to figure out where you want to go.  Right?  So you send the driver a nasty text threatening to get them fired for cancelling and order another car.  

Nervous now, you patiently watch the car on the app and notice that it is not moving, so you call the driver and let them know in no uncertain terms that you can see them and that they aren’t moving and you are running late.  The driver explains that they are in traffic, but you go ahead and vent on them anyway.  You abruptly hang up and next thing you know, that driver cancels.  OMG!  WTF is wrong with these jerk drivers?

Now you are totally in panic mode, so you order another car.  It is 17 minutes away (because the two drivers close to you are not even accepting your requests at this point and have noted your name and address and will never pick you up ever at this point).  You watch and notice that the driver is moving steadily toward you.  The driver arrives two minutes early, but you aren’t ready.  You need to go to the bathroom after waiting so long and need time to put your coat on.  The driver texts that he is there and needs the code to get into your complex, but you are too busy going to the bathroom and putting your coat on to respond.  After waiting five minutes for you to respond, he cancels also.  

The above may seem extreme, but this happens much more than you would believe and could have been prevented by the passenger just being polite, communicative, and cooperative.  

I have been driving for Uber for a little over a year, and I often hear from passengers that they get cancelled on frequently, and they just can’t figure out why.  After talking with other drivers, and hearing their stories, I have compiled this top ten list of reasons why you may be getting cancelled by your Uber driver.

1. You Don’t Answer Your Phone or Texts.  After you order the car, the driver calls you or texts you for more information and you don’t answer.  Once you order the car, you need to keep an eye on your phone and answer it if you get a text or phone call.  We are running a business, and you need to be respectful and answer back even if it is something as simple as “where are we going?”  You may have put the destination in when you requested the car, but we do not see it until you actually get into the car.  We are not trying to annoy you or frustrate you; we simply need this information.  Talking to you gives us a “feel” for what kind of ride it is going to be.  Ignoring texts and phone calls will get your ride cancelled.  
2. Distance.  You are too far away.  If we accept the ride and see you are more than ten minutes away, there is a good chance you will get cancelled, especially if you don’t answer texts or phone calls.  If you are going a very short distance, we end up paying out of our pocket for the gas expense and time wasted.  You are less likely to get cancelled on a long pick up time (more than ten minutes) if you answer your phone or text to let the driver know it is a short trip.  An even better thing to do is if you see a long pick up time, text the driver and tell them it is a short ride.  Better yet, if you are going a short distance don’t accept drivers who are more than ten minutes away.  I had a particularly unpleasant experience once when I received a call for a mall pickup.  It was in the summer and it was hot.  When I arrived, four teenage girls piled into my car and had me drive them across the parking lot because it was too hot for them to walk to their car.  The entire ride was not even a minute.  They then gave me a low rating because I took too long to get to them and didn’t provide them with bottled iced water.  I made $2.00 on a ride, got a lower rating which could cost me my job, and spent almost half an hour of my time on the ride.  Please be considerate of the driver and don’t expect them to drive ten minutes to drive you half a mile to the grocery store.  If a driver is close by, then by all means order the car, but be considerate.  If it is a short ride, TIP your driver.  Contrary to public belief, Uber does not factor a tip into your fare.  There are actually two class action suits against Uber for misleading both customers (you) and drivers (me) into thinking tips are included or unnecessary.  While your minimum fare may be around $5, we only get $2 of that.  If we have spent 20 minutes picking you up and taking you somewhere, we aren’t even making minimum wage and we still have to pay for gas and maintenance.
3. Low Rider Score.  I personally won’t pick up anyone whose score is less than 4.5, and I know drivers whose cut off is 4.75.  That may seem harsh, but most drivers don’t give ratings under 5 unless the passenger has caused serious problems.  These problems can range from being extremely rude, to damaging the vehicle, to obnoxious back seat driving.  If your score is less than a 4.75, most likely you have done something to earn a low score and you need to reassess your own behavior and work on getting your score up.  Keep in mind also, that when you let your friends use your account, you can get low ratings if they act obnoxious, damage the vehicle or are overall jerks.  Be careful doing this.  I once had a man send a car to pick up his new girlfriend’s son.  This kid was a real piece of work, yelling at me, kicking my seat, making fun of me, and just being an overall jerk.  The owner of the account had a good solid 5 rating, and I didn’t ding his rating because I knew the problem was not him, but many drivers would have kicked this kid out and given this man a 1 rating.  So don’t share your account.  It’s against Uber policy and it could give you problems if you plan to continue using the app in the future.
4. You Are a Jerk On The Phone.  If the driver reaches you by phone or text and you are short-tempered, arrogant, or act entitled with them and/or you refuse to answer their questions, there is a reason they are asking, don’t assume they are stupid or annoying you for asking it.  Give your driver attitude, and they will likely decide you can walk.  This is a no brainer.  If the person who is allowing you in their car has a question, answer it politely. Uber is not your typical taxi service, it is a person who is using their personal car to provide you with an extra service while they make extra money.  I have also kicked people out of my car who were obnoxious and hateful toward me, and I know other drivers do the same. The sharing economy doesn’t make room for people who are jerks.  No one wants a rude person who is going to give them a hard time in their car.  Be aware and be respectful.
5. Bad Location.  You aren’t where you say you are.  Watch your pin!  If you are not where you say you are, we will cancel and leave.  Uber is starting to eliminate cancellation fees in some cities, which gives the driver no reason to drive around five minutes looking for you.  Our time is valuable.  If you are in an apartment, come to the front of your complex or building and wait for the driver, especially if you are in a gated community.  If you can’t do that, text the driver with directions to your apartment building once they get into the complex and provide an access code.  If I don’t have good directions, I will wait by the leasing office and most likely will cancel if I don’t have an open line of communication.  I had a passenger request a car who did not give directions to the apartment.  I drove around and around trying to find her, and when I finally did find her, she opened the door and started to berate me and call me all sorts of names.  I told her I would not take her and cancelled the ride with her standing there.  Don’t be rude, and be where you say you are.
6. You Aren’t Ready.  Don’t order a car if you aren’t ready to be picked up.  We often arrive very quickly, and you are given a fairly accurate ETA.  If it is more than five minutes, we will cancel.  And with the elimination of cancellation fees, many drivers are not even waiting five minutes anymore.  Be ready! Your driver’s time is valuable too and they want to be doing work that will make them money.
7. Harassing the Driver with Texts and Phone Calls.  You bombard the driver with numerous texts and/or phone calls demanding to know where they are.  Uber provides a map showing you where we are, but unfortunately this does not always work accurately.  Calling us and yelling that we aren’t “moving” is a sure way to cancelled.  You know there is a thing called rush hour traffic and traffic lights, right?  
8. You Have a History.  They’ve gotten calls from you before and it is clear you have rated them low or were rude to them.  I had a woman who lived in my neighborhood who always requested these little short rides.  I was okay with doing them because I didn’t have to drive far and I knew she needed the rides.  One day, we were nearly hit by, of all things, a beer truck.  Through my quick thinking, I avoided a serious accident, and she thanked me profusely and then proceeded to give me a low rating because, through no fault of mine, the ride scared her.  After that, I cancelled on her every time.  I avoided a serious accident, and she punished me for it on a short ride.  She later saw me in the grocery store and asked why I wouldn’t pick her up and then was astounded when I told her why.  A lot of the drivers know each other, and we do give each other head’s up warnings about bad passengers.  Also, please be aware that our ratings affect your ability to get a driver, but your ratings could affect our livelihood. The ratings system is designed to keep bad people out of the system, it is not designed to ruin someone’s life because you are having a bad day.
9. Illegal Behavior.  Do not walk up to the car carrying an open container of beer or a glass that clearly has alcohol in it.  Not only is having an open container against the law in most states, it is strictly against Uber policy.  If I see you walking up to my car with a drink in hand, I will lock the doors, cancel and drive off.  You’ve shown me disrespect by even attempting to do this and expecting me to accept the responsibility and liability for your selfish illegal behavior.  The same with smoking.  If you have a cigarette in hand and are reaching for the car handle, I will lock the doors and cancel.  Be considerate.  If I pull up and you are stupid drunk, I will lock the doors and cancel.  I don’t need your vomit or uncontrollable behavior in my car.  Another illegal behavior is if we arrive and you have a small child and no car seat.  Don’t ask us to break the law for your convenience.
10. We Are Not Your Personal Moving Company.  I have had pickups where people have had three grocery baskets full and wanted to load them all in my car.  I have had pickups at Ikea where a man had purchased a bunch of furniture and wanted to tie them to the top of my car and have me drive them to his home.  Needless to say, the ride was cancelled.  However, I did offer to drive him to UHaul to rent a truck.

Basically, to avoid getting cancelled by your Uber driver just be a decent human being and recognize that the driver is a human being also.  Just because we are allowing you to come into our car and are willing to drive you somewhere, does not entitle you to treat us disrespectfully.  If your behavior would get you kicked off an airplane and possibly subjected to a body cavity search at an airport, don’t do it in an Uber.

History of Rally Racing

Traditionally considered a gentleman's sport, rallying is a form of motorsport that takes place on public or private roads with either modified or specially built cars that are road-legal. This type of racing is unique in that it is not performed on a circuit, but rather is a point-to-point race in which the competitors and their co-drivers drive between two set points. Rallies are won either by speed or by driving in stages within a predetermined journey time.

Motorcar rallying can be traced back to 1894 to the Paris-Rouen Horseless Carriage Competition which was sponsored by Le Petit Journal. This rally attracted tremendous interest and heralded the start of this very popular motorsport. The term "rally" came into being in January 1907 from the first Monte Carlo Rally. Even then, up until the late 1920's, very few events used the term "rally" even though that is what the event would be considered under today's definitions.

The Paris-Rouen Horseless Carriage Competition led to a period of city-to-city road races in many European countries. These competitions introduced many of the features that are found in rallies today individual start times, cars running against the clock as opposed to other drivers, time controls, and entry and exit points of towns, use of road books and maps, long distance driving, and facing hazards such as everyday dust, traffic, pedestrians and even the occasional farm animals.

One of the absolute greatest races during this time period was the Paris-Bordeaux-Paris Rally of July 1895. Won by Emile Levassor, his time for the 732 mile course was 48 hours and 48 minutes which was at an average speed of 15 mph!

When you take into consideration that just eight years later, the Mors of Fernand Gabriel, running the same roads, won the Paris-Madrid race in just under five and quarter hours for 342 miles at an average speed of 65.3 miles per hour, it is a testament to how quickly technology was advancing in motorcars.

At this point, speed far exceeded safety. The roads were mostly farm roads that were primarily dirt or gravel. It was a very dangerous sport. During these early races, there were numerous crashes with many injuries and even deaths to spectators and competitors. In 1903, the French government stopped the races and banned these events due to safety reasons.

However, road racing would not go away!

Despite the ban in many parts of Europe, road racing in Italy continued to thrive, and the country's first motorcar race was held in 1897 along the shores of Lake Maggiore.

Subsequently in April 1900, the tides turned, and the Thousand Mile Trail was organized in Great Britain linking Britain's major cities. There were 70 vehicles taking part, most of them sponsored by trade organizations. Each entrant had to complete 13 stages of the route varying in length from 43 to 123 miles at average speeds up to the legal limit of 12 miles per hour! How things have changed!

In 1905, the German Herkomer Trophy Trail was held. The first event only allowed amateurs, but in 1906 professional racers were allowed and the win went to Dr. Rudolf Stoess who actually won driving a car with the smallest engine!

In 1905, France literally got back in the race when L'Auto sponsored the Coupe de l'Auto for small sporters.

WWI brought a slowdown to rally racing.

The Monte Carlo Rally, which had been terminated, was subsequently brought back and has continued to thrive except for a short time during WWII. It is an annual event and remains part of the World Rally Championship. Due to tough winters, in the 1930's it became the number one European rally.

In the 1920s, numerous rallies sprung up that were run through the Alps in Austria, Italy, France, Switzerland and Germany most notably Austria's Alpenfahrt, which continued to 1973, Italy's Coppa delle Alpi, and the Coupe Internationale des Alpes (organized by the automobile clubs in Italy, Germany, Austria, Switzerland and France.

In the UK, the first Ulster Motor Rally was held in Ireland in 1931 and was run from multiple starting points. Eventually, it transitioned into the 1,000-mile Circuit of Ireland Rally.

In Italy, after WWI, Mussolini's government encouraged motorsport, and in 1927 the Mille Miglia was founded and was run over a 1,000 mile loop of highways from Brescia to Rome and back.

The Lige of August 1939 was the last major rallying event before WWII and became a symbol of defiance. Germany was determined to secure a victory for the Reich, but were thwarted by two talented drivers in French cars - Ginet Trasenster of Belgium and Jean Trevoux of France who tied for first place.

Again, rallying was slow starting up again after WWII. However, the 1950's were the Golden Age of the long-distance road rally. The Monte Carlo Rally, the French and Austrian Alpines, and the Lige were joined by a host of new events that quickly established themselves: the 1947 Lisbon Rally in Portugal, the 1949 Tulip Rally in The Netherlands, the 1951 Rally to the Midnight Sun in Sweden (now the

Swedish Rally), the Finnish Rally of the 1000 Lakes started in 1951 (now the Rally Finland), and the Acropolis Rally started in 1956 in Greece.

The challenge of rally races was addictive, and the rallies became more and more dangerous and difficult.
In South America, The Gran Premio del Norte of 1940 was run from Buenos Aires to Lima and back.

Repeated in 1947 and 1948, subsequent rallies were even more daunting. This event was repeated in 1947, and in 1948 an even more ambitious one was held, the Gran Premio de la Amrica del Sur from Buenos Aires to Caracas, Venezuela where a driver was killed.

The Carrera Panamericana was held in 1950 and was a 1,911 mile road race performed in stages to celebrate the opening of the asphalt highway between the Guatemala and United States borders. This fast and dangerous race ran until 1954. Due to the extreme expense of putting on these types of races, they were eventually discontinued.

In 1950, the first French-run Mediterrane-le Cap, in Africa was run. This race was a 10,000 mile rally from the Mediterranean Sea to South Africa and was run sporadically until 1961 when political constraints ended it.

In 1953, the Coronation Safari in East Africa was started which eventually became the Safari Rally and World Championship round. This was followed by the Rallye du Maroc in Morocco, and the Rallye Cte d'Ivoire in the Ivory Coast. Australia's RedeX Round Australia Trial dates from 1953, although this race has remained somewhat isolated from the rest of the rallying world.

Types of Rallies:

Stage rallies. Stage rallies have been the predominant type of professional rallies performed since the 1960's. They are based on a straightforward speed over roads that are closed to other traffic. Often these stretches of road can vary anywhere from asphalt mountain passes to rough forest tracks, ice, snow, desert sand each picked out to provide specific challenges to the crew and the car's performance.

Road rallies. These are the original form and are held on highways that are open to normal traffic. The emphasis is not on speed, but on accurate timekeeping, navigation and vehicle reliability. These tend to be more for amateurs.

Rallying is a very popular sport a sort of grass roots of motorsport. Interested individuals should contact their local automotive clubs which can be found online. Club rallies tend to be run on public roads emphasizing navigation and teamwork.

(This article was written in honor of my father, Hank Wehmeyer, who was the only American member of the East Anglia Motor Club in Felixstowe, UK from 1957-1960 where he drove a cream-colored Austin Healey. His co-driver was Tony Brierly. Good work, Dad!).

Laura Nyro

"Wedding Bell Blues," "Stoned Soul Picnic," "And When I Die," "Stoney End," and the unforgettable "Eli's Coming."

Who among us growing up in the 60's and 70's didn't groove to these songs never knowing that they were penned by a delicate, young Libra girl born in the Bronx?

Born on October 18, 1947, to Gilda Mirsky Nigro, a bookkeeper, and Louis Nigro, a piano tuner and jazz trumpeter, Laura was an original American composer, lyricist, singer and pianist. Her style, a distinctive mix of Brill Building style New York pop mixed with elements of jazz, gospel, R&B, show tunes and rock, made an indelible mark on the music of the 60's and 70's.

She was a very creative and artsy child, and even taught herself to play the piano. She was a voracious reader especially poetry, and loved listening to artists such as Leontyne Price, Billie Holliday and classical composers such as Ravel and Debussy. Some of her favorite musicians were John Coltrane, Nina Simone, Pete Seeger, Curtis Mayfield, Van Morrison and girl groups such as Martha and the Vandellas and the Shirelles.

Like many gifted composers, she started writing music when she was very young, composing her first song at age eight. And in fact, she wrote "Wedding Bell Blues" and the young age of 17!

Laura attended the prestigious Manhattan's High School of Music and Art. During this time, she started singing with a group of friends in the subway stations and street corners of New York. She accredited this time to being one of the best times of her life. She loved the energy of creating something new.

Laura's songs held a certain intelligence that many pop songs of that era were missing and helped move the country toward higher social consciousness. In fact, she commented, "I was always interested in the social consciousness of certain songs. My mother and grandfather were progressive thinkers, so I felt at home in the peace movement and the women's movement, and that has influenced my music." Obviously, her family background provided a strong influence in her music, and has made a strong impact in many lives.

Artie Mogull auditioned Laura in 1966 and became her first manager. At that time, she experimented with other names, finally settling on Nyro (pronounced “Nero”).

Her first songwriting hit was "And When I Die" which she sold to Peter, Paul and Mary for a mere $5,000 in 1966.

Also, at this time, Laura recorded her debut album, "More Than A New Discovery" which provided material for other artists notably Barbra Streisand.

Soon after this, David Geffen approached her management wanting to represent her. Mogull was not happy with this, and Laura sued him to void her management and recording contracts on the basis that she had entered them without proper representation as a minor.

Geffen became her manager and she established her own publishing company, Tuna Fish Music with Geffen as her partner, splitting all proceeds fifty-fifty.

Geffen also arranged a new recording contract with Clive Davis at Columbia Records, and he also arranged purchase of her publishing rights to her earlier compositions. A little known fact, at this time, Laura was approached to become the lead singer for Blood, Sweat & Tears, but Geffen advised against this and she did not pursue this. Blood, Sweat & Tears subsequently had a huge hit with Laura's composition, the passionate "Eli's Coming," perhaps the first power ballad ever recorded.

Laura reveled in the new artistic freedom that she now had with Geffen and Davis. She released her second album "Eli and the Thirteenth Confession" which received high critical praise for its sophistication and arrangements. This album, followed by "New York Tendaberry" in 1969, sealed Laura's reputation as an artistic force to be reckoned with.

Christmas and the Beads of Sweat" Laura's fourth album, was released at the end of 1970. This album contained some of Laura's most well known songs, "Upstairs by a Chinese Lamp," and "When I Was A Freeport." Of note, this album featured up and coming, Muscle Shoals musician, Duane Allman.

In 1971, Laura released "Gonna Take a Miracle" that was an album of her favorite teenage songs recorded with a vocal group, called Labelle (Patti Labelle, Nona Hendryx and Sarah Dash). Of note, this is the only album Laura recorded of non-original material.

On a personal level, Laura was moving in another direction and married carpenter, David Bianchini in 1971. She never felt comfortable being a "celebrity" and announced her retirement at the age of 24. Geffen and Davis wanted to make her a "superstar," and certainly could have, but Laura was not comfortable in that role.

In 1976, with her marriage over, Laura came out of retirement with an album of new material, "Smile." In 1980, Laura reunited with an old friend, Maria Desiderio, a Brooklyn-born painter, who eventually became her life partner. Laura and Maria lived in Connecticut where they raised Laura's son. Sadly, Maria died in 1999. Of note, Laura's relationship with Maria came as somewhat of a shock to many of her friends and acquaintances since she had never come out as either bisexual or lesbian.

After her 1978 album, "Nested," recorded when she was pregnant with her only child, Laura took another sabbatical. She returned to recording in 1984 with "Mother's Spiritual."

In 1988, she embarked on her first tour in ten years which she dedicated to the Animal Rights Movement.

Laura's final album, "Walk the Dog and Light the Light," was released in 1993.

In 1996, Laura was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and passed away in Danbury, Connecticut on April 8, 1997 at the age of 49 from this disease. Ironically, this same disease claimed her mother's life at the same age.

Laura's music influenced many artists that we are all familiar with from Joni Mitchell to Rickie Lee Jones, Steely Dan to Todd Rundgren. Her songs have been recorded by a wide diversity of artists such as Carmen McRae, Junior Walker, Chet Atkins, Frank Sinatra, and Swing Out Sister.

Because of Laura's admirable desire to have a private life and not pursue celebrity, which she clearly could have done very few people are aware of this amazing woman who has impacted so many of our lives with her music.

Discography:

1967 - More Than a New Discovery (later reissued as Laura Nyro, 1969, and as The First Songs 1973)
1968 - Eli and the Thirteenth Confession
1969 - New York Tendaberry
1970 - Christmas and the Beads of Sweat
1971 - Gonna Take a Miracle (with Labelle)
1976 - Smile
1978 - Nested
1984 - Mother's Spiritual
1993 - Walk the Dog and Light the Light
2001 - Angel in the Dark (posthumous album recorded 1994-1995)
Live
1977 - Season of Lights
1989 - Laura: Live at the Bottom Line
2000 - Live at Mountain Stage (recorded 1990)
2002 - Live: The Loom's Desire (recorded 1993-1994)
2003 - Live in Japan (recorded 1994)
2004 - Spread Your Wings and Fly: Live at the Fillmore East May 30, 1971
Compilation
1972 - Laura Nyro sings her Greatest Hits (released in Japan only)
1980 - Impressions
1997 - Stoned Soul Picnic: The Best of Laura Nyro
2000 - Time and Love: The Essential Masters

Surviving the Workplace Bully

Workplace Bullies: Are you a victim of one of these cretins?

Meghan, a marketing coordinator for a pharmaceutical distributing company in Chicago was well-liked and appreciated by her colleagues and supervisors until a new marketing manager was brought in to develop a marketing strategy. Almost immediately, Meghan's projects were eliminated or the new manager took them over and claimed credit for them. He intentionally kept her out of the loop regarding meetings and sales calls. He enjoyed making rude comments about women in front of Meghan saying things like "Women are only good for seven years and then you have to replace them." After six years of glowing reviews, Meghan was laid off six months after the new manager came on board.

Dianne, a respected paralegal in a large New York law firm, found herself dreading going to sleep at night because she knew in the morning she'd have to deal with the office manager. The office manager had a serious substance abuse problem and would fly into violent rages on a regular basis. She had been with the firm for many years, and the senior partners chose to look the other way rather than deal with her. She played pranks such as setting the clocks ten minutes ahead and then she would write the employees up for coming in late. She would shout and brag that she could get rid of anyone. In 22 months, she had fired 12 of 33 workers. Due to the stress of working for this woman, Dyanne developed high blood pressure and clinical depression and was forced to resign.

Christine accepted a position as the assistant for the Chairman of a large department at a prestigious University in San Francisco. On the outside looking in, the job appeared to be wonderful. The honeymoon didn't last long. Christine discovered the Chairman had gone through five assistants in eighteen months. When asking for clarification on instructions, he barked at her "Are you going to be stupid for the rest of your life?" She was regularly interrogated about mistakes she didn't make and was told, "I don't want to hear your excuses" when she tried to explain. She lived in terror of what she was going to be accused of next. As with two other employees before her, Christine did not pass her probation and was terminated.

The workplace is a hostile, mean place. And it's getting meaner. Bosses yell, scream, holler, browbeat and terrorize all in the name of productivity. Employees live in a state of fear of being fired due to our liberal employ at will laws. Coworkers backstab, spread malicious rumors, ostracize and avoid their coworkers. And bosses and management see this as mere personality issues.

This abuse has been called everything from desk rage to office incivility to psychological aggression.

Lawyers term it a Hostile Work Environment.

Experts in the field call it Workplace Bullying.

Employees call it Unbearable.

Who are these workplace bullies and what exactly is workplace bullying?

"Bullying has carried over into adulthood for many people, and it's severely damaging the lives of untold employees," says Greg Namie, Ph.D., a California-based consultant and managing partner of The Work Doctor. He and his wife, psychotherapist, Ruth Namie founded the Campaign Against Workplace Bullying (CAWB) to fight nonphysical workplace abuse and to provide a forum for victims.

CAWB defines bullying as "the deliberate, repeated, hurtful mistreatment of a person (the target) by a cruel perpetrator (the bully)". Workplace bullies use aggressive behavior to assert control over a target whose talents, social skills, or independence they envy and is best understood through the bully's behaviors.

CAWB came up with the following definitions for the most common types of bullies:

The Two-Headed Snake

The Two-Headed Snake aims to destroy the target's reputation by manipulating co-workers' and supervisors' impression of the person. These people are passive aggressive and indirect. They often have Jekyll and Hyde personalities, and you never quite know which one will walk through the door in the morning. They pretend to be nice to you, while sabotaging your work behind your back. They use friendliness to decrease your resistance and gain your trust. Their smile hides naked aggression. This person breaches confidentiality and uses the divide and conquer strategy to ruin people. They share private information they have received with other workers and bosses.

The Constant Critic

The Constant Critic is committed to destroying the target's confidence and self-esteem. An example of this, would be a physician  in Manhattan, who stated he would accept nothing less than perfection from his assistant, and fired her stating no errors were permitted in his office. These people are extremely negative, nitpicking and perfectionistic. They find fault with everyone but themselves and will tell a lie in a heartbeat to make you look bad if it benefits them. Arrogant and mean-spirited, they truly do not think they are doing anything wrong. It's their way or the highway. Constant Critics are loved by management because they get people to produce. As bosses they have incredibly high employee turnover. They feel they can make you work harder by destroying your confidence, encouraging self-doubt and haranguing you constantly about your incompetence. They make unreasonable demands and insist on impossible deadlines and apply disproportionate pressure and expect perfectionism, and they will engage you in intense cross-examination designed to belittle and confuse.

The Gatekeeper

The Gatekeeper sets his target up to fail by controlling resources, such as time, budget, supplies, support and training. This person is a control freak, and needs to establish herself as "one up" in to order push you around or control your circumstances. One office manager in Dallas, Texas, in classic Gatekeeper behavior, refused to allow employees access to such basic supplies as writing pens. In order to get a "new" pen, you had to turn in your empty "old" pen. She would carefully, pull the ink cartridge out, look at it to see that all the ink was used up, and if it met her specifications, she would then issue you another pen. You were only permitted one pen at a time. Gatekeepers like to give targets the silent treatment, and they love to hold you in contempt and show their displeasure with you with condescending looks. They will leave you out of the communication loop by interfering with your mail, email and memo delivery. They don't return phone calls. They make up the rules, and you have to follow them.

The Screaming Mimi

The Screaming Mimi tries to publicly humiliate her target, resorting to screaming and yelling, as the supervisor Dianne in Boston had to endure. Screaming Mimi's control through fear and intimidation. You dread seeing them in the halls because of the scenes they may cause at any moment. They are emotionally out of control, impulsive and explosive. They love the look of fear on your face and instilling a sense of dread in their targets. This makes them feel powerful. They are overbearing, self-centered, and insensitive to the needs of others. They also are the most insecure of all of the bullies. They tend to worry excessively about their own incompetence and worry about being found out as imposters. They love to bark out loud that "I am your boss, follow my commands", or "the door swings both ways. If you don't like it, leave."

Workplace bullies can fall into two or more of these categories. It is not uncommon to find a Screaming Mimi who is also a Constant Critic and who is a pathological Gatekeeper. The issue is control.

Statistics Regarding Bullying

The Campaign Against Workplace Bullying recently conducted an online, intensive survey of 1,335 people, which resulted in some interesting and disturbing results regarding the severity of the problem of workplace bullying in the U.S. For example:

Men and women are equally likely to bully others. Bullying is not gender specific.  Women target women in 84% of the cases. Men target women in 69% of the cases. Thus women are more apt to be the targets in this abuse.

Not surprisingly, bosses are the most common bullies checking in at 81% with the power to terminate at will.

You are four times more likely to be bullied in the workplace than to be a victim of other illegal discriminatory harassment such as sexual harassment or racial discrimination.

80% of respondents reported effects from the abuse that have prevented them from being optimal employees ranging from severe anxiety, lost concentration, sleeplessness and fear.

Many targets eventually require medical treatment as a result of their abuse with 41% of the targets reporting clinical depression, and 31% of the women and 21% of the men reporting post-traumatic stress disorders.

And, finally, 82% of targets either lose their jobs or leave them to stop the bullying. The only relief that from bullying that has proven effective is complete removal of the bully from the target's environment.

So why did this person pick me?

Bullies invariably pick their targets because their targets have something they don't, whether it is competence, a pleasing personality, popularity, or are just generally nice people. Being targeted by a bully entails the target having one or both of the following characteristics, a) a desire to cooperate and b) a non-confrontational interpersonal style.  Bullies are gratified by the fear they instill in their targets. This is what they enjoy. This gives them pleasure. You did not do anything wrong to be targeted.

Personal Risks Associated With Bullying

The actual physical risks to an individual can be staggering and include reduced immunity to infection, more colds, menstrual difficulties, skin disorders, stress headaches, hair loss, hypertension, diabetes mellitus, heart palpitations, and heart attack.  As the bullying progresses, the target becomes socially withdrawn and isolated from coworkers. Often coworkers will abandon the target who was once popular and well-liked, out of fear of retaliation and becoming the next victim of the bully.

And lastly, the economic damage can be staggering. At times targets must actually leave their jobs to get away from their tormentors sometimes without having other employment lined up.

How Can You Protect Yourself From a Bully?

You must recognize the warning signs of a bully and to do that, you need to understand what motivates a bully. Bullies become bullies for different reasons, but they all share the act of hurting others. Again, the CAWB defines what motivates bullies through the following examples:

Chronic Bullies

The Chronic Bully tries to dominate people in almost all encounters whether it is at work or away from work. This person bullies waitresses, clerks, taxi drivers, everyone and anyone. No one is immune. And they attempt to excuse this inexcusable behavior by saying, "I can't help it it's just the way I am. If you don't like it then leave." The chronic bully is motivated by their own fear of confronting their deepest feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing. They were not raised to analyze themselves with the goal of self-improvement. They have to attack people to feel good about themselves.

Opportunistic Bullies

The Opportunistic Bully is the bully you are most likely to encounter at work. They are masters at reading cues, and if competition is encouraged, they know that beating up other people will lead to winning. The Opportunistic Bully is different from the Chronic Bully because they can and often do step away from the competitiveness in their personal lives and can be truly charming, rational people outside of work. They justify their bullying behavior as necessary in the work world. This is the manager that no one wants to work with, but everyone enjoys socializing with.

Accidental Bullies

The Accidental Bullies are simply social fools. They are truly unaware of the effect of their actions on other people, and when pointed out to them, they are generally horrified by their own behavior. The remarkable thing about an Accidental Bully is once confronted, they retreat and apologize. They are able to learn social skills.

Substance Abusing Bullies

These are the most frightening of all bullies because they can be very dangerous especially when they are not in control of their actions. All assumptions about rationality and logic go out the window.

What Can I Do To Protect Myself?

Avoid them if at all possible.

If you are interviewing for a position, find out why the previous person left. If the job has had a high turnover, find out why. If the department has a high turnover, find out why. Invariably, when you find high turnover in a position, there is a bully in the midst. Christine, mentioned earlier, could have saved herself untold heartache if she had only found out about the high turnover rate and seen that for what it indicated there was a Constant Critic/Chronic Bully running the department!

If you can't avoid them, then try to figure out what motivates them. If you are dealing with a Chronic Bully or a Substance Abuse Bully, you will most likely have to leave the job to find relief. When dealing with a Chronic Bully or a Substance Abuse Bully, make sure you protect yourself and avoid being alone with either of them

Dealing with an Accidental Bully or an Opportunistic Bully is not pleasant either, but they are usually easier to deal with once you understand their motivations. With a little work, both an Accidental Bully and an Opportunistic Bully can be reasoned with, and can be rehabilitated once they understand the ramifications and consequences of their actions.

If the situation is so unbearable that you feel you must file a grievance, please keep in mind that filing complaints invariably leads to retaliation, and that can make your life even more difficult. Remember, Human Resources and Employee Advocates are paid by the company. What motivates them is not always what is in your personal best interest.

Keep detailed records of the abuse. Keep copies of emails and memos. You may need these if you get fired and attempt to file for unemployment.

If the stress becomes too much, don't hesitate seeing a good therapist.  Workplace bullying causes mental injury, and you may need to be treated. Remember, this is not your fault. You are being attacked. You did nothing wrong. And you are not alone.

Bullying or Just Tough Management

Workplace bullying is not "tough" management, it is illegitimate behavior. It is meant to demean and individual, not enhance productivity.

Work is not supposed to hurt.